Tuesday May 14

Today was a full and busy day. The two younger boys worked on some laundry this morning. Thomas and Matthew completed a construction job today that's been long and drawn out, fitted in between door jobs. Austin was out with the lawn crew.

I was up earlier than usual. After breakfast, I read with the boys until the midwife came. All seems to be going as a normal pregnancy should.

After my checkup, the boys had scattered. Melvin was mowing the lawn. Between mower breakdowns and rain, the lawn was looking pretty hairy. More hairy than pretty.

Christopher was watching chicks and trying to see how many hatched. He also emptied the dishwasher. (Click here to see a video of the chicks.)

I worked on making menus for the next couple weeks and getting a shopping list ready. Then I made a list of some food prep that could be done.

The last few months I've been using Eat at Home meal plans, simply because of pregnancy brain. It was too difficult to plan and Tiffany has all the thinking done for me. Actually, I did alternate my own meal ideas with hers but leaned heavily on her plans.

Now that I can think again to some degree, I decided to make my own plans for the next couple of weeks and see if I can whittle the grocery bill down.

Last year was not a real profitable garden year so my freezers and canned food shelves are quite empty. That does not help the grocery bill! Especially with six big eaters. My appetite has returned so that includes me.

After lunch we headed to school for program practice at 12:45. It's that time of year again. Practice every day this week and Friday evening is the performance. Next week we'll be FREE.

While the boys practiced (for an hour) I crawled into the back seat of the van, curled up and slept. If you've never tried pregnancy at age 46 you should! Ha ha. It is quite difficult.

After we were home and I rested a bit more, Christopher and I tackled some things in the kitchen. He started working on a breakfast casserole. Then he had to go do the milking early so Melvin finished the casserole.

I got a batch of bread mixed and rising, then worked on supper and other things. There were leftover mashed potatoes from Sunday that I reheated;

I fried burger, onions and cabbage together

and made a fruit salad with apples, canned pineapple, frozen blueberries and yogurt. Sweetened with a bit of maple syrup and flavored with vanilla.

The cow has really upped the milk production this spring. I turned a gallon of it into vanilla pudding, sweetened with Sucanat.

I want to make some freezer meals so I fried a couple packs of hamburger for that venture.

And a pound of bacon, baked for another potential breakfast casserole.

The fresh baked spelt bread.

It takes more bread with the guys getting their own breakfasts and lunches. With my poor coping skills at present, there are fewer leftovers as well for lunches. Plus Austin wants more finger foods to eat "on the run" with his lawn care job.

I felt pretty good about how much I accomplished single handedly. The boys were all gone to Kid's Club for the evening. But. ..if I do that much, it just kind of sets me back physically. One day up, the next day down. One step forward, two steps back.

Thomas spent the evening working on a chicken coop. The chickens have been in the fenced-in garden area but if we want to plant a garden they need to move. Plus the chicks need something with a "roof" so hawks and owls can't get them. AND we want something that we can move across the lawn or field to let them pasture feed.

The boys came home around nine o'clock, ate their supper and we called it a day. Kitchen cleanup waits till morning. That's the way we roll around here. Not the best way but hey, you can't always have the best, you know.

SURPRISE, SURPRISE

The day has come to let you in on our surprises. I finally have enough energy to sit at the desk and enough clarity of mind to be able to write. The last few months have not been conducive to either.

Toward the end of December I began to suspicion that we were pregnant. I didn't know how that could be so I said nothing to Thomas and just kind of waited.

In January our church ladies' sewing group reorganizes and we vote in a new committee member. I was voted to take that position and agreed to it; but on second thought, I stopped by the Dollar General store and bought a pregnancy test.

Oh my! Those positive test lines turned pink so fast! Now what? I had lots of fear because I knew this either meant months of miserable pregnancy or else another loss. Of course, I dreaded the latter the most. After three losses I thought I just couldn't take ONE more.

The sewing committee position had to be turned down. Pregnancy really takes my energy away plus if it continued on to baby I knew I couldn't do both. It was distressing to me to have to inform people of my condition so early on but at my stage in life no one thinks twice that I might not be able to fulfill normal duties. 

The distress came from hearing their excitement and not sharing in it. How could I be excited when any week might mean a loss? I finally came to the conclusion that it's okay to anticipate and it will be okay to be hurt again. 

With so many people knowing my situation there were a lot of prayers covering me and the baby. My nutritionist has been "holding my hand" all along and keeping me pumped full of supplements. I still struggled/struggle with having enough energy to keep our house clean and food on the table.

The church sisters have been very gracious in the help they've extended to me. A meal brought in now and then. A pot of soup. My assignments for fellowship meals taken. Teaching Sunday school when it's my turn. A batch of granola. Or two. Help with church house cleaning. Washing my windows. 

I'm sure I've missed something but oh my! They know how to make me feel loved and cared for. What I would do without the church we're a part of, I don't know.

Another good friend said she will raise garden produce for me this summer since I won't feel like bending over. I am so blessed to have such friends!

The boys have really stepped up to the plate as well. Helping more with cooking, cleaning and laundry than what they normally would. They've been getting their own breakfast. Even Thomas has perfected his egg frying skills.

People often ask, "What do the boys think about it? How do the boys feel about it?" They're excited. They were all so close together that they really don't have clear memories of babies. But here's a unique thing to have another sibling at their age.

They've been positive about it all along. When I was in doubt as to whether the pregnancy would continue, one of them would say, "This one will!"

Once when I was speaking of some event or situation in relation to the pregnancy, I said, "If this continues to baby". Melvin asked, "What else would it be? Tiger?"

Am I excited? I hardly know. I think about all the realities of the situation. Sleepless nights. Childhood illness. Child training. My age.

By the time this child is 14 Thomas and I will be 60 and Christopher our youngest will be 28. How's that for perspective??

But yes, I'm excited. This is God's doing and it is marvelous in our eyes. He will be (and has been!) with us every step of the way and He has a plan for this child!

Springtime and second trimester have given me back some energy. Life looks a lot brighter. Even though some days you would still see me in bed nearly all day. 

Just this week we got our 20 week ultrasound done and they tell us we're having a .....

Click here to see the reveal. Let me know in the comments if you are not able to go there. (I'm sorry the video is sideways. I don't know how that happened and don't know how to fix it!)